When Adults aren’t Really Adults
I just had a conversation with a co-worker, a good guy with all the best of intentions, and a solid core of wanting to help people. In the past, I've been a little taken aback by some of the things he's advised me to do - most notably, to have patience with this organization, and to accept that it'll be a year or so before people really start to listen to me.
He is not alone. I've heard that many times from several very senior people, and it still makes me giggle... as if the hiring process were somehow just a game, and the real vetting of people comes after they are hired. I still giggle...
But today it's about people being adults and the problem of putting a bunch of folks into a group and expecting them to play nice with one another. Most frustrating to me today is that you can't expect them to act like adults much of the time. Forget acting professional - I'm just asking that when someone is nice, polite, patient - that it would be really nice to have the person... I don't know... answer you?
I know this isn't unique to any one organization. Dilbert is filled with examples of this every week and we all laugh at the antics there... but it really happens, and it really is a chore to be doing a job you don't necessarily enjoy, and being polite, kind, patient - just doesn't seem to work.
I'm old enough to know that this has nothing to do with me, or this line of work, or the specific people involved. I've seen it at almost every place I've ever worked. Some are more up-front about it than others, but they all suffer from it. It's people. It's just people. Sadly, it's a frustration that I know has no outlet. It's just something that has to be accepted with a quiet shake of the head, and then let it go.
People don't change because they see a better way. They don't change because someone asks them. No... they change because they want to - simple as that. There may be a million reasons why - but they have to choose it, and nothing I can possibly do - other than what I've already done, is going to change that. It's their path, and they have to take the steps and learn what they have to learn.
And I do too.