Recovering in Baby Steps
It's been a heck of a week - and weekend. There hasn't been a lot of time to regroup, but now that I'm back at work with friends (for at least a little bit), it's not so bad. Sure... the problems I'm going to be facing with supporting this entire suite of server products are really quite scarey, and I'm not sure if I should even attempt to understand everything in the process, but for now - focusing on today, things are OK.
I guess that's the thing that I needed to focus on most - not the future, which can appear to be as bright or as dim as I want, but the here and now. I'm typically not a live-for-the-moment kind-fo-guy, and I don't have any real expectations that I'm going to turn into that guy anytime soon, but there's a lot to be said in these times of great stress and change to focus on the smallest piece of time possible. Thinking about right now - not later today, or this evening - but right now means that you don't have a lot to think about really. There's doing nothing or doing something. If the latter, then there's really only a few possibilities and picking from those is a lot easier than all the problems and possibilities that exist out there in the future.
This is very much the head-in-the-sand philosophy, and nothing gets solved when everyone thinks this way. But for me, for now, it's helpful. I tend to think too much and too far out anyway, so in a way this is just a kind of thinking vacation that allows me to rest from the stress and grief that I typically have, and make as small a decision as possible.
I'm going to try and keep this close at hand for a few days. I certainly need it.