A Letter to a Dear Friend
This morning I was thinking about the particular situation I find myself in at work. Interestingly enough, the one guy that I thought could really give me great advice is one of my oldest friends - Bret from grad school. I've known Bret since 1980 - that's more than 31 years now. We've worked together, laughed together, and lived a long time together.
To this morning, I wrote to him to ask him his advice:
I've been struggling here at work for the last few months - amid some massive re-orgs (yes, multiple massive re-orgs in that time), and in the midst of all this, I thought of the one person that I could really trust to give me some solid advice - you.
So here's what I'm struggling with: When I hired on here at The Shop about 2 yrs ago it was all about who I was going to be working with, and how we were going to be developing, and no more crap for HR… all the things that after a long stint at First Chicago, then UBS, I was happy to hear. It started out great, and my manager was just made partner, so it seemed like it was going to be great for a long time.
Then things changed. My manager, Clive, was put in charge of all IT for The Shop. Everything. And it's changed Clive. We no longer work together. For a while, I found someone that reminded me a lot of you - funny, easy to laugh, good coder, thoughtful. A really nice guy to work with. And while it was a little team of the two of us, it was great.
Then Clive decided that his view of IT needed to change, and that guy, is now managing the group I'm in - a group of 14 people.
Out the window goes the "who" I work with. Now I'm working with regular (which is to say, junior) guys that are dolts in comparison.
Out the window goes the "how" I work. Now things can't be released unless we have a meeting about it and it'e perfectly acceptable to leave bugs in production until that time. There are times they will have to check to see if it's OK to fix a bug - priorities are important, after all.
Out the window goes everything that I once liked about this place.
And so I'm asking you: How do you do it?
How do you work with people, systems, organizations, etc. that are clearly more like Roman galleys than places for creative people to work. It's not that I mind hard work, it's the conditions under which it's produced. Maybe I'm just fooling myself that a place like this Shangri-La even exists, but I'd like to think it does. But maybe that's my problem.
Maybe I need to just accept that people that want my effort, my energy, my work really aren't interested in my best work - they would be happy with 80% - if they get to choose the terms under which it's given.
Anyway, I'm hoping that you have some words of advice for me. Something that I can use to re-adjust my thinking, to re-align my sights - to get to a place that I don't dread coming to work.
Anything you have would be really helpful.
I'm hoping he's got some good advice for me. Stay tuned.
[2/13] UPDATE: I wasn't disappointed… his letter was right on target and it got me to thinking about what I need to do:
Hmmm, well, I think I should tell you a story. This is how my thinking has changed during the last 6 months of my last job. It has to do with all that's happened before but took a form I could articulate last year.
I started working for Avocent in 2008. It was a new team building a pretty cool product. Long story short, it was the best team I'd ever been part of. Best is terms of mutual respect, fun, and actual quality and quantity of output. Then we were bought buy a much bigger company. Things changed like black and white. One day when I was thinking about my options a light bulb went off. Every job I've ever had started out hopeful and for varying lengths of time was pretty rewarding. But something always happened to change that. What I realized was not that things always change. It was that *I* have been wrong every time about my estimation of the longevity of the job. Every time. On that day I made two decisions. Or rather two changes in my thinking. One is that I don't care one wit about the longevity prospects of a job opportunity I'm considering. Everyone tries to sell you and the vast potential of whatever they are selling. Now what I'm about to say will sound harsher than I really think in general (I mean I've not turned into a hopeless cynic, far from it) but to the job salesman I say bullshit. But really it's my desire to assume more than I should that I call bullshit on. Here's the deal. I've been wrong EVERY time. It's not that I didn't have educated assumptions, I believe I did. Doesn't matter. There are too many factors that can change. I NEVER saw the purchase coming by a company that was both large and insane at the same time. So, to be clear, I'm not jaded, I just don't consider longevity to be a factor. I just want to know if the work is interesting. If things change I'll look again. But I said I made two decisions. The second I'm still working out in real life. Since I can't count on others for long term job satisfaction, my goal has changed. I used to want to find a job that was "interesting" (there are many dimension to what "interesting"means). What I realized is the reality that I could continue this path of going from job to job (really meaning from employer to employer) as things change, to I could seek to become independent of that rat race. The best word I have for what my goal is right now is independence. There are just way too many ways today to make your own path and divorce yourself from the work you want to do and a bunch of other factors (where you live, who you work with, etc.).
I guess in answer to your question of how I do it, I don't think I do really. I've always moved on. That takes time sometimes, but the mental switch flips pretty easy and hasn't ever flipped back. In the meantime, be yourself, advocate the quality you expect. THAT is hard and I've failed many times but that's the standard to measure against. Remaining true, that is. This has been a bit of a ramble. There's probably more to say so feel free to call anytime. I mean it. I'm living this out everyday right now so talking this stuff through would be helpful to me too. It's been good for me to reflect on this as I've typed this much to you so far.
Take care and let me know how things go.
He's dead right, and I knew it before he even wrote back. The problem is me and my expectations. I need to lower them. Way, way, lower. When I was new here, and had lower expectations, things were a lot better, but as I started doing more work here, they rose on the hopes that things were really going to be great. Big mistake of mine.
Focus on the things that are important to me. That's the ticket. It's not important that I'm a convert to the cause, I just need to be a solid, good, hard worker, and that's always going to happen. It's when I think they have the same vision as I do that things go sour. I just need to keep a respectful distance. It's not easy for me, but it's important.
Thanks, old friend. I knew I could count on you!