The Realization that Things are Exactly as They Want
Today has been a pretty big day for me. I've written a lot of code to try and get things up to date and operating at good speed, and there hasn't been a single thing that's stumped me. I got it all done, exactly when they needed it, and all in the branches they needed - merged into the right branches and ready to go. Can't complain about that at all.
But I've also been doing a lot of talking with my new manager, and yesterday I had a long talk with my old manager. I think I've come to the realization that this place is not in transition, at least not completely. It's evolving, and in that evolution, it's changing exactly how it wants to be changing, and my concerns about where it was versus where it is, and where it's going, are really all my fault. That is to say - all my issues.
This place is doing exactly what it wants. And more of it. It's moving away from the structure and people that I hired on to work with, and hired on to work like. I can write code anywhere, I came to this place to work with specific people. Now that's no longer possible. I came to work in a specific way - again, no longer allowed.
In short - everything I liked about this place in coming here is being pulled away, and it's very clear that it's not that my concerns aren't heard, it's that they don't seem them as concerns! They see them as achievements!
So where does that leave me? Well… it's a place I no longer want to be, but it'll take me time to find a place that, once again, appears to be the kind of place I want to work. I'm hoping the search isn't too long, but no matter how long it is, I'm here, and I'll play their games, but I can't honestly pretend to like it. It's nothing like what I want to do.
But for now, it's my paycheck.
But not for long.