Silly Parent Tricks
As a parent, I have dome some pretty crazy things... I've been sprayed with pee... I've caught poop in my hand to keep it off the floor... I've been kicked, slammed, thumped, and pounded by kids - but up until this past weekend, I've never shot myself. This is one of those stories that reminds me that the most important thing to keep as a parent is your sense of humor.
Anyone who's watched A Christmas Story knows that Dads often think about the (unsafe) toys they had as a kid when their kids (boys or girls) want to have a similar unsafe toy. As a parent, it's you'll shoot your eye out, but as a kid it's just the ultimate in fun. In recent weeks my son, Joseph, has been asking for an Airsoft gun to play with in the back yard. Since it was a slower muzzle velocity than the forbidden BB gun, it seemed like it might be a non-messy paint-ball gun. So we had a look.
The guy behind the counter at the Bass Pro Shop said that it'd leave little bruises, but not puncture the skin. That if we wanted to make sure, we could go home and shoot ourselves to see what it really felt like. Seemed like a good plan at the time. Ah... silly parents...
I unpacked one of the guns when we got home, loaded it up. Looks nice... non-threatening as it's translucent, but it's got good weight and the clip is nice in that it can take 15 shots and then the child in question has to reload. Better than the old days of dropping in 500+ BBs to my air rifle, pumping it up 20 times, and punching through metal. But I digress... I then took the gun to the garage as I didn't want my neighbors seeing me shooting myself in the backyard - that'd bring a 911 call for certain.
So in the garage, I'm sitting on the steps to the garage door with my elbows on my knees. I'm looking in the recyclables thinking it'd probably be a good idea to shoot something hard and just feel the impact energy before actually shooting myself. So I find this nice, sturdy cardboard and think the guy at the store said it would not break the skin, this is pretty tough, should do nicely. Ah... silly parent...
So I put the muzzle of the gun to the cardboard and calmly pulled the trigger.
YIKES!
The little yellow plastic ball had gone clean through the cardboard and tagged my left leg! It stung, but not as so bad that I jumped. Then again, it had already slowed down while plowing through all the good, strong, cardboard. For a second, I looked at the cardboard with disgust, as if it had let me down. Then I quickly realized what had really happened and looked at my leg. A bruise was already appearing - shaped like a donut, or 'O'. Interestingly, nothing in the center was bruised, only the periphery. It didn't raise a bump. It stung for about a minute, and then it was just a mark. No lingering pain.
I walked back into the house, showed my wife and the kids. They were surprised and a little bit scared of the guns. Good. Healthy respect, that's nice. It didn't hurt any longer, but it was a funny story to tell. So I tell this story so that other parents can spare themselves from shooting themselves with one of these guns. They are not safe to shoot at each other. But they are probably more safe than BB guns. Lesson learned.