Letting Go… Moving On…
Yesterday I decided that it was time to accept that my attempts at being present for my two youngest kids by texting them every Sunday morning - just to say "Hi!" and wish them a good week, wasn't what I would have liked from my Dad at the time, and they hadn't written back in more than a year, and at the time it was not kind. They need space. If they never reach out to me, it's not because I haven't made it clear that I'm here... it's a conscience, willful choice to not reach out - and they deserve to make those decisions, no matter how it impacts me.
So I wrote them one last time - telling them that if they wanted me to continue - just say so, and I will... but if not, I understand, and I'll be here, if they ever change their mind. I thought it was a pretty good way to put it.
I don't think I'll hear from them except when they want money for college, and then the first time after college they ask - like grad school, or rent, or vacation, or something - and I say "No" - that will be it. Their choice - not mine.
At the same time, I said the same thing to a friend that I used to work with, but hasn't written back in more than three months. I don't want to appear to be a pest, so again... if they want to chat - I'm here... but getting weekly updates from me is something else, and it's OK... people change, things happen, jobs change, and so it goes. That's fine.
In short, I'm deciding that it's OK for people to change. Pick different likes and dislikes, and even if I'm one of the dislikes, that's just the way life is sometimes, and I'll have to be OK with that - family or not.
Moving on. I need to get on with it.