The Tree of Problems
I don't remember who told me this story, but it's an interesting tale that has really hit home this morning as I've been reading some of the posts I wrote in the last month. The story is about The Tree of Problems, and it goes something like this:
At the end of each person's life, they walk up to The Tree of Problems where every person takes all their problems - as a group, and hangs them on the tree. Then they walk around to see what set of problems they would like to have in their next life, and after looking at all the problems on the tree, they pick theirs back up.
Because they realize they can deal with these problems best.
And it's really just a statement that when we look at people, and think they have no problems, that's because we aren't really seeing what their life is like. We are only seeing this tiny slice of their life that they choose to expose to us. And the real issues are not something that we really almost never see, because most of us really try to hide those bad problems from others - even friends and family.
I'm currently in the middle of this job search. It's going well. I'm hoping to have something all lined up before the first of the year, but I'm trying to manage my expectations as well. This all relates to The Tree of Problems in that I've not been happy at work for a while. A long while. I can look at posts going back a while, and while there are times when the work was fun and exciting, the environment I'm working in is really not something I like.
Yet I held onto it far too long.
I kept thinking "It'll get better"... or "This is the system I know"... when in reality it's not going to get better, and in fact, it's getting worse. Not because the people are mean or nasty - just because they share different values that I do, and there isn't a group in Chicago that appears to share my values.
This also reminds me of Liza. Loving and marrying the wrong person is a recipe for the same kind of grief. You think "I'll work harder"... or "I'll stop doing this for them"... or any of a million other things, all of which don't matter because ultimately, they aren't interested in being with you. It's a bad fit.
So I need to Let Go... as Richard Bach said in Illusions... let go of the rocks I'm clinging to at the bottom of this river and trust that the river knows where it's going, and will carry me along. It's not all that easy, but nothing of value is. Letting go and having a little more faith is what I need, and this morning it was just so clear that people hold on all the time.
So I just need to cut myself a little slack and try and relax as I see where my path is headed.