Why a Job isn’t Slavery and Slavery isn’t a Job
I was talking to an old friend this weekend - it had been ages since we talked and we spent a lot of time on the phone getting each other up to date on what's been happening lately with the families, etc. It's fun to play catch-up with an old friend as they know a lot of the old jokes, but a lot of the neat, new stories are new to them, and it's always fun to tell stories about the kids.
Anyway... after a while we got to talking about work, and he has been going through a really tough patch at work where the place is not doing well, and the morale and attitudes of nearly everyone there is really taking a beating. People are slacking off, not doing their best - and the work shows. But I know my friend, and that's not like him - nor is quitting as he's big into the loyalty, commitment, etc. But he had a recent story to tell that even made me cringe.
He's been doing all that's asked of him for years, and recently, because this other group of developers is really not pulling their weight (I'd say they were lazy and inept, but he's nicer than that) he's been asked to do a little of their work because they are too busy with other things. Well... he does it. In my experience, it's worth lodging a complaint - respectfully, to let your manager know that this is not 'ordinary' - no more so than them asking you to be a janitor or security guard, and even though "The Team" needs you to do this, will the "Team" be there when you need them? Not bloody likely, which is my point about lodging the complaint - respectfully. But I digress.
He's been forced to do this work of the others and even on occasion told to get it done by deadlines when the principals are out of the office. It's like "Hurry up and get this done for Steve by Friday" and then Steve takes Thursday and Friday off. Why the rush, if they aren't going to be in the office? It seems reasonable that if the work needs to be done that fast, that he'd be in the office. But maybe it doesn't need to be done that fast, it's just the manager's way of trying to suck up to the guy.
This is why I really don't like these kind of 'rush' jobs - many times they really aren't a 'rush', they are just a rush from the point of view of the manager looking for some brownie points with their management. Which, again, is the reason I always try to make a respectful point of properly setting expectations.
In the end, my friend is unhappy, but he's resigned himself to the fact that this is the job. Much like any relationship, it takes work, and it's a given-and-take with a natural ebb-and-flow that means that sometimes it's not a lot of fun, and sometimes it is. I can certainly understand his point - having been married more than two decades, but there can come a point when a job - or an relationship, for that matter, is destructive for one or both parties. There are tons of times when people aren't fitting in at a job and are 'let go', or 'right-sized', but the other side of this same relationship happens as well. Jobs and managers can get overly oppressive, thankless, demanding, and in general, one-way. When that happens, it's time to step back and realize that there are times to sit out the ebb and flow, and yet there are times when it's really best to step away and decide if it's really a good idea to stay in the relationship.
I'm not going to tell him to get another job, I respect him too much. I know he's a good guy and when it's the right time to make a move - or re-set expectations, he's going to do the right thing. But it's hard to see a friend having this much trouble, when he's such a nice guy. Sigh.