Somedays It’s Hard to be a Nice Guy
Today I ran into a problem that bothers me to no end because it's not something I've done, but it's all been perceived as my fault by the recipient. Imagine the case of the stereotyped person - pick any one you'd like. If, in their mind, what you are doing is because they are part of that group, then you are the "bad person" - no matter what you say or do. It's something I've seen over and over, talking to my friends in these "groups". Many of my black friends say the most racist people they know are black. It's oddly bizarro logic. I appear to be a snob, if they "see" everything through their own filters.
So today I've had this happen to me, and I've tried to explain that it's not the case. It didn't take. So I think I'm going to take a different tac - let it go. If they are really hell-bent on portraying me as a racist, or an intellectual snob, or whatever, then that's up to them. I'm sure they can take any words or gestures I've done and twist them into supporting that decision - no matter how insane that "mapping logic" is.
So if there's nothing I can do, then the best I can do is to just stay away from them. I have no desire to work around these people. They aren't my friends - they are my co-workers. Period. If it is nice to come to work - great, but I've worked at places that aren't and survived, even thrived, and I can do it again.
I just get tired of trying to be nice and having it used against me time and again. They will think what they want, and there's nothing I can do about it. So be it.