Knowing What to Do is Harder than it Looks
I'm sitting at my desk (to call it a desk is an overstatement - it's a 6 ft. section of a 24 ft. table) this morning and trying to come to terms with what I should be doing next. And 'next' is not always defined to be the very next thing I'm working on. No, this is a more long-term 'next', like What am I doing here? and Is this place the right place for me? kind of 'next' questions. The Shop is undergoing a lot of changes lately, and I'm feeling more isolated than I've felt in a while. It's not comfortable, and I'm just not sure why I'm subjecting myself to this - long-term. After all, in this market, in this day, the skills I have are in high demand, and there's no shortage of places to work.
So I'm sitting here, looking at my code - very happy with it, but fundamentally wondering if this is the right place for me. WHat should I really be doing? I'm not really advancing my career here. Not that it's that important to me. But still… I'm helping them out, I'm getting more years of experience in this industry, but I'm not really getting myself any closer to what I want to be doing.
Or maybe I am?
I just want to do fun, interesting things with fun, interesting people. I believed this was the place when I came here almost two years ago, and I've certainly built some amazing systems while I've been here. So I've done the fun and interesting code, but the fun and interesting people have been pulled away from me. The guy that I came here to work with became the Head of IT, and I don't get to work with him any more. The guy I worked with for a few good months, got pulled away to be the head of a large development group, and so I don't get to work with him either.
So it's like the fun and interesting people are here, and I did get to work with them, but as soon as I did, they seemed to get pulled away into management duties. I don't begrudge the organization pulling good devs out of the trenches, and making them management. It's what most organizations do - right or wrong. I support my friends that have moved away from development into these management roles because if they are happy, then I'm happy for them.
But with each move, I feel all that much more isolated. What's the point of staying here if there are a few guys I want to work with but will never again get the chance to work with?
That's my Big Next Question.
I have no idea. I sure wish I knew.