T-4 Days and the Stress is Building – Drink My Own Kool-Aid
Today has started out exceptionally stressful. I've got a few guys helping me that are not doing so well, and some don't get the urgency of the impending deadline. It's all building up to a ton of stress and I'm starting to be a touch sharp with people. After all, if we're supposed to be done in four days, why are you asking me about a point that should have been worked out a long time ago?
It was getting pretty out of hand.
Then I realized that I wasn't taking my own advice. Specifically, that advice I gave my daughter about her test anxiety. "Don't worry about the grade", I said. "Focus on the knowledge, and the tests will take care of themselves."
Good advice, in my book. But I wasn't listening to it. I wasn't listening at all.
I've been letting this arbitrary deadline I didn't agree to get to me. I'm working 12 and 13 hour days and it's been a nasty couple of weeks. I've resented having to slow down to help people. I've resented the slower people in the group hassling me about giving them work. I know they mean well, but really? I work four times faster than you do. Giving work to you is slowing me down - even if you never ask a question.
But that's not really the point, is it?
Isn't it about trying my best to bring these people along? Helping them see how they can be better at their craft? I think that's the point.
I know there's no way I can't be seen as giving it my best.