Chips on Shoulders Make for Automatic Blinders
I just got out of a meeting, and in the beginning things were going better than I thought. I was getting an idea on how their system was put together, listening to what they were doing, seeing where they thought they were going wrong. It was all constructive - up to a point. And at that point, I was very saddened to see "chips" appear on shoulders. Because I knew that the moment those chips went up, the communication broke down, and the meeting, and probably the entire collaborative project was over.
I understand the emotion. You're a professional. You care a lot about those things you've been asked to care about. When something happens that rumbles the ground you walk on, it's not a "good" feeling. It's OK to handle it for a while, but after a time, you really want to regain some sense of control. Like I said, it's understandable. I just wish people didn't get so upset about things.
But even that, I suppose, is understandable. I get upset at a lot of things. That I don't get upset about someone offering advice is my little filter. Maybe these other folks don't get upset by being in glass elevators - one of my phobias. It's just the want people are wired together.
The problem is that as soon as the offensive behavior goes up, the blinders go on and no amount of talk is going to bring them down. This person is now shut-off to me, and they aren't about to open up again until I agree I'm wrong, or apologize, or am reprimanded - something that means I'm addressed in the proper format, as they define 'appropriate'. It's just so counter-productive.
Sad to see it happen.