Who’s Keeping Score?
This weekend I tried to do something nice for Liza - let her sleep in a little, as I took Angelina to school (early) for a track meet. I got home after dropping her off, and Liza seemed to get grumpy at me just after waking up for not waking her up before I took Angelina to school.
"Did you make sure she had water?"
"Uh... nope, sorry."
"Did she have a snack for later?"
"Uh... sorry again... We'll take it to her."
She seemed steamed at me. She was steamed at me. Here I'd gone and sent my daughter out to a track meet with no water, nothing to munch on, and I was supposed to be expecting something other than a slapdown? Not bloody likely.
But I got a little miffed... "Hey, I was trying to let you get a little more sleep. I was trying to be nice."
So there it was: we were both right, and on opposite sides of this argument. Ugly place to be. We continued on in silence for quite a while Saturday morning. Right up until I was in the shower and pretty chapped about being unappreciated... I had my flaws that morning, but hey... what about a little appreciation?
And then it came to me: Who's Keeping Score?
Does it matter if I'm right? Really? Am I going to get a present every 100 times I'm right, like S&H Green Stamps? Am I going to be a better person because I was right? Will my kids like me more? Will my life be any better at all?
Not in the least.
Not one bit.
No one is keeping score - except us. We're the score keepers, and we need to stop. I need to just say Hey, I tried, and it didn't turn out well... so it goes. It's hard to do, yes, but what's the real alternative? Keeping grudges? Keeping scores? Really?
No, there's no real alternative. It's about realizing that at 48 years of age, it's time to stop worrying about who's right and who's wrong. Do your best, try with everything you have to do right, but in the end, if it's misunderstood, then realize that's relationships. They are made up of people, and I guarantee you that for every time you forgive, you'll be forgiven by the other guy.
So stop keeping score. No one else is.