Finally, A Breath of Air
For the last several days I haven't written any posts because I've been deep into this codebase that I inherited and don't really like much. OK, that's being polite. But a few interesting things happened in these last few days that make me step back and try to see the forest for the trees. Maybe it's just because I think I'm done, and I'm in one of those euphoric states of mind that occurs when incredible pain is removed, and it appears that you're in incredible happiness... and then again, maybe it is honest happiness.
The Code
I'm not going to apologize for my take on the code. It is really horrible. Yeah, it's really that bad. It's not the worst code I've ever seen, but had it been even a little worse than it is, I would have said that it never would have worked for the purposes at hand, and a re-write would have been required. It was passible, but only barely.
So what's the upshot of this? Well... I'm stuck with it. I've been in this spot several times before with other projects. The code is so convoluted that only a very few (typically only one) person can go in and make changes. The process is hard, painful to do, and error-prone. It's a disaster waiting to happen. Consequently, it's something that has to be done very carefully.
But it can be done.
I'm trying to take away that last point: It can be done. It's not impossible, just very, very difficult. In that sense, I'm not really upset about the code, or having to work with it. It's something else entirely that I'm upset with.
The Timescale
I'm all for deadlines. I don't mind them as long as everyone knows them. If it's an unreasonable deadline, then when it's made, the statement of it's unreasonable-ness will be made, and expectations can be set. It's never an all-or-nothing proposition, but as long as everyone knows where they stand, it's fair. Something that's been happening in the last few weeks is that I'm getting the very real sense that there's a deadline, or timescale that I'm not being made aware of. There is a very real pressure to complete things as fast as possible - without regards to duplicating work and carefully removing bugs in the code.
Such might be the case, if there were a deadline that I weren't aware of. Something like "Mean Guy over there is saying our group doesn't work hard, and I told him we'd be done with this by the end of the month." I'm all for sprinting for a goal, but I need to know the goal, and that we're sprinting. Otherwise, I get the feeling that I'm being horse-whipped with things that make no sense.
- Sending the app to testing with users when we know some of the numbers are bad -- why not just wait until the numbers are right and then show it to them?
- Changing the Test configuration in the middle of testing for an hour so someone can see the numbers -- again, you're making this a wasted hour because I'll have to revert back to the consistent testing configuration to really be sure I have everything.
I don't say that there's not a reason for this - only that I'm totally unaware of what that reason is, and being in the dark, working as hard as I do, is not a comfortable feeling. I get to feeling very manipulated.
I'm not such a prima donna that I don't think all decisions have to come to (or through) me, I just want to be told what the decisions are when they effect me. It's about feeling that you know where you stand.
The Support System
This week I've had a real shock to my traditional support system. I have a few friends that I've worked with for years, who now work different places, and I chat to them pretty much every single day. It's not like we're texting teenagers, it's more like an informal way to communicate if we happened to be further apart than a shout.
I had been having problems with this project and was venting to these guys, and basically got slapped back down by both of them. One, said he had problems as bad with his, and didn't think it warranted the grumbling noises that I was taken to task for by management. The other is now a manager, and he said he wouldn't stand for that.
Interesting.
While I understand their points of view, and probably even agree with them (now), at the time, they were "keepin' it real" by smacking me down. Needed? Maybe. Helpful? Not in the least.
The problem was, as I realize now in retrospect, that I was mad at more than those asking me to do this, I was mad at myself for not putting my foot down and requiring some sense of timeframe, or setting a schedule, or at least not letting them push me to answer deliverables every hour (no joke). Asserting myself at work is something that I have a hard time with, especially when I'm new to a position. I don't feel comfortable saying "No" to even unreasonable requests. The word "possible" kills me.
So while I needed support, and didn't get it, I needed perspective more.
Lessons Learned
So after all this, what have I learned? I think there are a few things that I should work hard on:
- Expressing my beliefs about the cost of certain decisions - heck, maybe if I'd told them exactly what the cost was going to be, they'd have said "Nah, it was just an idea".
- Sticking to my beliefs and not being a doormat - there's nothing professional about being walked over by peers or management. If you are a professional, and in your professional opinion the plan has mistakes or omissions, then you should feel that it's possible to express them professionally.
- Know when to shut up - obvious, but necessary.
I'm sure there's more, but for now, this will get me a long way towards not getting into a situation like this again.