Motivations for Setting Out on My Own

Well... everything costs. Pretty darn true. Not a lot in life is free, and that which is most of the time only seems free at the time. So it's not at all surprising what happened today.

Ripping the Band-Aid

I'm a Band-Aid Ripper. When I have a task that I know I'm not going to like, I try to steel myself to the pain, and then just rip. Get it done. Get over it. Move on. There's no reason to draw out a painful process to make it long and painful. It's enough that it's painful. Rip it off.

In all honesty, I didn't use to be this way. I was scared - plain and simple. I hoped, like all kids, I guess, that if you do it slowly, there won't be any pain. All the pain, you hope, is in the ripping. But that's not the case, is it? Nope. In most cases, that band-aid is stuck, and it's going to be painful to get it off. So it's just up to you to take it off on your terms.

So I've been working for the last several days on adding a few calculated values to this application that I have inherited at my new job. It's not what I'd have written. In fact, I look at it and I think there's just about nothing I think that was done right. It's a mess. Plain and simple. Even the original author has called it "crap", "a hack", and not once or twice.

But I'm able to make it work.

So there's no need to rewrite it. It works. So when I had to work on it, I knew I had to attack it... get into it, get it done. The longer I stayed working on it, the angrier I was going to be. But why?

To give you an idea, to add the 10 or so calculated values I had to add over 5,000 lines of code - totaling nearly 500,000 characters. Just to add a few fields. The problem is in the way it's structured - lots of interfaces and objects - but all functional in nature and none really encapsulating the reporting behavior. This means that when I have a report that looks at a certain variable trading during the day, there's going to be an opening value, a trading value and a net value. Rather than create a object for this, there are three values passed around the code.

Add to that, we might need to difference these, and we get nine values: open, trading, net, and then initial, final, difference. If I add 10 variables, then I'm really adding 90 arguments to many methods.

It's not good. It just wasn't designed properly for what it was doing. But I got it done.

How it Looks to Others

After I got this all done, I had a meeting with my manager. Basically, he believed that there were two ways to go about doing this:

  • re-work the code to add in the values... grumbling and grousing while you do it... giving off the impression that you're capable, but not a guy anyone wants to work with - possibly someone that's just a pain.
  • re-work the code to add in the values - but this time be nice about it. Everyone wins. You're happier, no one gets the wrong impression. Win-Win.

I wanted to say that Fantasy Island is a nice place to live, and I'd love to visit him there, but I didn't. What I said was that I'd try harder to keep my mouth shut, and not give off the wrong impression.

But is it really the wrong impression, or just an unpopular impression? I have no doubt that I'd love to be happy when working with all the code I have to work with. I don't enjoy getting upset at code, or developers, but when I have to extend code and the number of arguments to a method exceeds 255, then there's something terrribly wrong with the code and it needs to be fixed.

But if it's not outwardly broken, why fix it? There's no business motivation for it. It's working, after all, it's just a complete mess.

So I'm left with a manager thinking I'm making the active decision to be unhappy when I'm just responding to someone doing a horrible job and being held up as a paragon of development virtue.

Where Do I Really Fit?

I'm left thinking about the experience and wondering if Liza's not spot on when she says this happens with every place I work. That my expectations of others are far too high for mortals, and while it's less than I demand of myself, the vast majority of people simply fall far short of my standards, and these problems are bound to arise. I don't think I'm that demanding. But I can certainly see her points.

I'm in an industry where developers are paid a ton of money. I mean a ton. If you're making in the six-figures annually, then by golly, you had better be giving it your all every day - or at least more days than not. That's a ton of money, and you need to be worth it. There is no free ride.

So I do get a little miffed at these guys making this money and not feeling compelled to fix up their messes. Far too many developers write something and hand it off never to think about it again. Where's the pride in what you have created? Where the dedication to your craft that you'd hand off such crap and call it "done"? Clearly I come from a different time. Which leads me to the ultimate question: Where do I belong?

I'm coming back to the thought that I need to be on my own. Writing software that meets my standards. It's not easy, and consulting is the easiest way to make the transition, but that leads to a lot of consulting and not a lot of your own code getting written. No, I'm thinking it's time to start planning on getting out on my own. I've toyed with the idea for a long time, but never really had a motivation to make any real, concrete steps. Maybe this is showing me that I need to go out on my own.

There's the money. That's #1. I know what I need to do -- write code, push it, and get some sales going. After a few apps making $50k/yr, I'll be able to think about going it alone. I know what I need to do, I just need to do it.