Sometimes It’s The Smart Person that Walks Away
Over the course of the last few months, I've had a few run-ins with a co-worker and while I initially put it off as a bad manners, lately, I've come to realize that this person is really exceptionally rude - yet thinks of themselves as humorous.
I'm sure there are literally thousands of people we all meet every day like this. They believe that the way to establish some connection with a person is to prod, poke fun, and then with a wink and a nod, let that person know that they aren't serious. To a point, this is understandable. People can be nervous in all manner of ways, and this can manifest itself in a lot of weird behavior, but when this goes too far, it's really quite counter-productive to the work environment.
Unprofessional Behavior. That's what it is. Simple as that. Out on the street, you are free to be as rude and nasty as you can stand. Doesn't make it right, just means that no one really has to deal with you - but you. But in a work setting, this is not really helpful. I've probably made it worse by allowing it in the first place. I should have just spoken up and said "Hey, funny 'Ha ha', but please, let's keep it professional, OK?"
Unfortunately, I've had to get far more blunt with some folks I've worked with. Sad that they didn't take the more mild hint, and I've had to actually say "You're making fun of me, right?" and when they agree, I say "Have you no shame? Please stop." I've been lucky - that usually does it, but in some cases, it's best to just walk away.
There are people that believe they know you, that they are you buddy, and so they say these rude things, as if to say "Hey, you'd only let a friend do this - right?". Wrong. I would never let a friend do that, and I'd never do it to a friend. What kind of friends do you have, anyway? Convicted felons and Wanna-be Stand-Up comics? Give it a rest.
Well... today I started to 'clear the air' with this guy. I got about a sentence into it and realized that he's completely clueless about what he's doing. Has no idea - honestly. Oh... maybe that's environmental, or maybe it's how he's been raised... I don't know. But I decided that there's no reason to has it out with him. None. He's not going to understand it and it'll just seem like I'm picking on him for no reason. After all, he was being "nice" to me.
In these cases, it's time to walk away. Really. He's free to attract as many "friends" as he can with these particular social skills. I only have to work with him. When I see his particular brand of 'humor' in communication, I'll just have to write it off as nonsense, and move on. I'm not interested in being insulted and winked at, as if that makes it all better, and he's not about to change how he deals with "friends".